Letting Go is a Process

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”
― Ann Landers

In life, we come across many people and different situations that are trying. As long as things are hunky dory, love reigns supreme. But it is when things fall apart out of the blue that you actually wake up to the reality. But wait, it would be wrong to use the word “suddenly” as one partner would have decided to distance himself quite some time back. While you are trying to give your best, this person would have moved on in his mind first. Breaking the news would be the only thing left, which most hate to do as it can be quite disastrous if not handled with care. The question then would be- did they really care? Was there love in the first place? Was it real? How can it die then?”

Basically, a relationship takes two to create and maybe only one to end it. Sounds awful, doesn’t it? Sometimes, the relationship might have been created on flimsy grounds by the initiator and the other partner gets busy nurturing it. Such relationships are already headed downhill and each day can get strenuous for the one trying to save it. But, one person cannot run the relationship for it takes two to love. Some people might argue that they have enough love for both and get ready to save the lifeless relationship. What has to end will and you cannot do much about it. A surprising situation arises when the partner that wishes to break away says he loves you but has to move on? Really? I mean how can you love and leave? Would you do that in all situations with everyone? These kinds of questions play upon your mind when you sense trouble in paradise.

Some smart lovers, walk off without giving a closure while some leave a stiff one after constant pleading and cajoling. Have you heard of the term stonewalling? Yeah, there are some that use silence in response to messages. Why can’t they just call it off politely and leave? Yes, you read that right. One can leave with peace and it is not necessary to indulge in drama. A loss is a loss and it has to be felt fully before one can release it. But when a breakup is discussed along with the closure, it becomes easier to cope with the loss.

So, someone you love has walked out of your life and you don’t know how to handle it? Firstly, allow the news to sink in. It is okay to get angry, feel bad and cry your heart out. Take a few days/months to fully let the hurt grow to a point where you have to do something about it. You will know when and then start the process of healing. When you try to heal before the pain is fully felt, chances of going back are strong. But this too has a benefit. Each time you are shown the door, you heal. I must add here that this is only for those that are “ego-free.” In the sense that those that find it tough to say “Sorry” and “Thanks” may find this thought repulsive and that is also fine. Each one to his/her own.

Grieving over a loss is a process that should not be shortened. Go through all the stages fully and one day you shall be free. As for those that chose to leave…..forgive them for they know not what they lost…..and if this is their way of life….bless them twice. 🙂

One life! Live it well!!

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