Life is always in transition and so are people. Times change and people move on, to a better future. For that is what, life is all about. Remaining stuck in a situation is never a wise thing to do. There is always scope to change your present circumstances. Never wait for things to happen by itself, for it seldom happens that way. Your life is always in your hands, make the most out of it. There was a time, when things were stagnant in my life….My childhood was responsible for it, or that’s what I thought, till I learnt that the situations in our life are never permanent.
As a child, I was friendly, jovial and full of life. The life of any gathering, yes that was always me. Then suddenly as I started growing, a lot of judgments and comparisons were thrown my way. It was always, “Look at her, she is so capable, why can’t you be more like her.” Or, “He scored this percentage, look at yourself”! Life was never the same again. I was constantly tensed, conscious and this changed my personality. Once, the life of a gathering, I now avoided them. I dreaded meeting up with relatives and friends lest they probe further.
Life went on, and I got more and more oppressed with life and the happenings. In my eleventh grade, matters became so terrible that I barely had a few friends, for obvious reasons. In frustration and anger I turned to my books. I began to study whenever and wherever I got the chance. Nothing else mattered to me anymore. And then, my life changed, when I stood second in my class. People began to acknowledge me and my standing, or so I thought, till, later I understood, that there is more to life than achievements. Due to frequent transfers, with my father being an Army officer, I was sent to a relatives house to study in my 12th grade. Now, this was tough on me. I did the same thing, turned to my books, at all times. I realized that I was studying close to 16 to 18 hours a day. Needless to say, I topped my city in the 12th grade in my chosen stream. The awards function, yes, I gave that a miss as I was visiting my parents at that time, not realizing it’s importance, then. I was a star again, with my name written in the school achievers list. Did anything change for me then, yes of course, I regained my actual personality traits, which lay buried, somewhere, all these years. Once again, I became, the life of all gatherings. But somewhere, I had turned slightly spiritual by then. Being a voracious reader, I read up on life, why things happen to some people only and more.
I studied to become a counseling psychologist. These days, I help people manage their tough times, dependence on negativity via counseling and writing. Even if I make a difference in one persons life, I will consider my life’s purpose to be achieved.
© 2015 Kavita Panyam